Posts Tagged ‘pointed sticks’

Defence Against Fresh Fruit

Sunday, March 29th, 2009


If you don’t have the benefit of experience in the British Army, the above clip provides some useful examples of how to defend yourself against an attacker armed with fresh fruit. Topics covered include bananas and raspberries, but not pointed sticks. Previously covered weapons include oranges, apples, grapefruit (whole and sliced), mangoes in syrup, passion fruit, loganberries, and greengages.

Balanced Forces in Gaza

Sunday, January 11th, 2009

gaza_by_latuff

Some international observers have suggested that the conflict between the Israelis and the Palestinians is one-sided. UN242 decided to take a fair and balanced look at the armaments of Israel and Hamas to see if this is a fair assertion.

Israel

  1. Nuclear bombs (150 – 200)
  2. Battle tanks (2400)
  3. F16 fighter-bombers (301)
  4. Apache helicopters (54)
  5. Blackhwawk helicopter (48)
  6. White phosphorus
  7. Flechettes
  8. Cluster bombs
  9. DIME – Dense Inert Metal Explosive
  10. Navy gunships

Hamas

  1. Qassam bottle rockets
  2. Catapults (“slingshot” for Americans)
  3. Bits of brick
  4. Bits of breezeblock (cinderblock for Americans)
  5. Pebbles
  6. Stones
  7. Shirt-buttons
  8. Pineapples (Hamas will neither confirm nor deny their stockpile of pineapples)
  9. Pointed sticks (unknown number)
  10. Human and animal bones

Since both sides appear to have the same number of weapons. We conclude that the fight is fair and balanced. Furthermore, we predict that the outcome will be a draw.