Posts Tagged ‘iran’

Ambiguity Lost – Israel has Nukes

Monday, May 24th, 2010

Israel’s long-standing policy of nuclear ambiguity has come to a shattering end. “We may have nukes. We may not have nukes. We’re not telling”. This has been the decades long policy of Israel. Now the Guardian reveals proof that, not only is Israel a proud member of the nuclear club, but they also tried to sell nuclear weapons to the South Africans. Many will remember that during the sorry apartheid years in South Africa, her best friend, and brother in bigotry was Israel.

Shimon Peres now finds his signature made public on an unclassified document that reveals the whole plot. The embarassment for Israel comes at a particularly sensitive time. The zionists are lobbying hard in Washington  to get support for bombing Iran. Iran, the Israeli’s argue, is a dangerous country that cannot be trusted with nuclear weapons. Who know’s what might happen to them. Now, it seems, the world has proof of not only Israeli deception but of deliberate Israeli nuclear proliferation attempts.

“Jaffa-Gate” Citrus Plot Thickens

Monday, April 27th, 2009

jaffagateThose lovely jaffa oranges are back in the news. Here, in the land of milk and honey at UN242, we always start our day with a big plate of slice-up Jaffa oranges. Iranians, on the other hand, are up in arms at the arrival in Tehran of tons of oranges labeled “Jaffa Sweetie”. Iran, in an effort to curtail the apartheid policies of the Israeli regime have boycotted Israeli produce for decades. How did this fresh fruit get in? Questions were asked. Fingers were pointed.

It turns out that the Jaffa oranges were Chinese! Chinese exporters in a humourosly futile and grossly naive attempt to make their produce appear more palatable had deliberately mislabeled their fruit as being Israeli. The result: the Chinese are unhappy because they have to take their fruit back; the Iranians are unhappy because they were trapped between touching Israeli fruit and dying of scurvey; and the Israelis are unhappy because the Chinese are clearly selling Jaffa oranges around the world that have never been near an Israeli bigot.

Israeli horticuluralists can be justifiably proud of their enviable success with the humble orange. If you didn’t know, their secret, natural ingredient is the use of ground-up Palestinian children as fertilizer. Yum!