Posts Tagged ‘apartheid wall’

American Sports Wonder Seriously Injured

Friday, March 20th, 2009

abbey-road-latuffAn American, Tristan Anderson, in the West Bank, protesting against the expansion of the Israeli Apartheid Wall, has been seriously injured by Israeli teargas. He was with a group of about 200 protestors from the International Solidarity Movement (ISM) outside the Palestinian town of Nilin.

Eyewitnesses report that he was hit in the head by a heavy teargas cannister fired from at least 300 yards away. The crowd that he was in was dispersing but had been throwing stones in the general direction of the Israelis.

When asked why the Israelis opened fire against civilians that were clearly too far away to do any harm, an Israeli Army spokesman, Ima Khila, retorted,

“…too far away! I think you’re seriously uninformed. 300 yards for Tristan Anderson is nothing. We’ve observed him throwing pebbles, small rocks, and large twigs distances of at least 350 yards. Tristan Anderson is one of the most deadly stone throwers in the business. He could have pitched for the Yankees but they decided it would be too dangerous for the batters and he ended up over here. Not only does he have tremendous distance, but he’s also incredibly accurate. He’s been known to knock the epaulets off our snipers from a distance of over 25o yards.

Realistically, we had no choice but to hit him in the head with a teargas cannister. If UN242 is really ‘fair and balanced’, as you claim, you may want to inform your readers about the serious danger that Tristan Anderson posed to our peace-loving troops.”