Archive for the ‘Other’ Category

Putin’s Murderous Rampage Continues

Monday, March 2nd, 2015

vladimir-putin-time-magazine

Boris Nemtsov, has disappeared in one of the two ways in which all Putin opponents disappear. They are either locked up or murdered. Litvinenko was poisoned with polonium in London. Khodorowsky was imprisoned on trumped up charges. Alexei Navelny was accused of embezzlement. When Putin’s puppet leader in Kiev was thrown out by a popular uprising, Putin annexed Crimea, invaded eastern Ukraine and shot down a Malaysian airliner. No wonder that Russian politicians and residents of eastern Europe are scared. Many fellow psychopaths must be envious of Putin’s KGB background and cold hard stare.

In Nemtsov’s recent words, “Putin is very dangerous. He is more dangerous than the Soviets were. In the Soviet Union, there was at least a system, and decisions were taken by the politburo. Decisions about war, decisions to kill people, were not taken by Brezhnev alone, or by Andropov either, but that’s how it works now.”

Putin Murdered Litvinenko on Third Attempt

Tuesday, January 27th, 2015

Russian, diminutive, narcissist, napoleon, hitler, shrimp, khuilo, corrupt, cuntThe insecure, diminutive, narcissist, Vladimir Putin, apparently cocked up his first two attempts at killing Russian dissident, Alexander Litvinenko.

Litvinenko was a refugee in London when the Russian khuylo was finally able to arrange his murder using radioactive Polonium 210 in 2006.

A public inquiry into his assassination opens in London on Tuesday.

Putin Khuilo!

Tuesday, July 22nd, 2014

putin-khuiloWorld leaders were aligned in their concern for Mr. Putin’s anatomy after the deadly carnage of his latest cock-up. They released a strongly-worded statement, starting with the question foremost on most observers minds: “Mr. Putin, just how small is your penis“.

The diminutive, West-hating, Ukraine-occupying, Litvenenko-murdering, Khodorovsky-imprisoning, Pussy Riot-fearing, homophobe and Chechen ethnic-cleanser, Vladimir Putin has finally got the attention of the West with a move so despicable, even his sorry bitch of a mother would have been shocked.
Putin didn’t just supply Russian rocket launchers to knock civilian airliners out of the sky over Ukraine. Putin murdered a Malaysian airplane chock full of top AIDS/HIV researchers. Thus the vertically-challenged Putin has potentially set back the cure for AIDS by several years or more and, rather than just murdering 298 innocents he may have murdered hundreds of thousands of innocent lives.

Top 10 Reasons to Boycott the 2014 Sochi Olympics

Sunday, November 10th, 2013

small-man-putin-on-horse

  1. See photo of the diminutive Putin above
  2. Ethnic cleansing in Chechnya
  3. Rampant Russian homophobia
  4. Appalling treatment of Pussy Riot
  5. Medvedev’s silly dancing
  6. Appalling treatment of Greenpeace pirates activists
  7. Vladimir Putin’s attempt to compensate for tiny stature with comedy alpha-male photo-shoots
  8. Appalling treatment of Mikhail Khodorkovsky
  9. Murder of Alexander Litvinenko by Putin’s KGB thugs
  10. No freedom of the press in Russia

Pathetic Putin Jails Pussy Riot

Monday, August 20th, 2012

Vladimir Putin, the power-hungry, ex-KGB, Khodorkovsky-fearing, small man of Russian politics continues to embarrass his countrymen with his Gestapo tactics.

With honest newsprint and television journalists put out of business or worse, it is now left to ordinary citizens to voice their displeasure about the diminutive dictator. Pussy Riot, a loose collective of free-spirited Russian musicians, publicly protested in a church and made a video of the event entitled, “Punk Prayer – Mother of God, Chase Putin Away!”

For their efforts, 3 members of Pussy Riot member were sentenced to 2 years in a prison camp.

China’s Occupation of Tibet Causes more Burning Deaths

Monday, March 26th, 2012

The Tibetan above doused himself in petrol and set fire to himself outside the Indian Parliament the day before a visit by the Chinese President. Although bystanders put out the flames, Jamphel Yeshi is not expected to survive the 90% burns to his body.

Over the last 15 months about 30 Tibetans have chosen self-immolation as a way to bring world attention to the occupation of Tibet by China. Since its invasion in 1950 China has been practicing ethnic cleansing in Tibet as a way of eliminating Tibetan culture and resistance.

China, for its part, dismisses the self-immolators as “criminals”.

Iceland Tries to Consume Last Fish

Thursday, December 16th, 2010

The Government of Iceland has exasperated European countries, especially Scotland, in it’s attempt to permanently destroy fish stocks. Iceland has declared a limit of 130,000 tonnes of mackerel for 2011. Since the population of Iceland is only 130,000, this represents 817 lbs of mackerel for each man, woman and child. While this is indeed pretty impressive consumption, even for a fishy country like Iceland, most Scots feel that the Icelandic are a mean, spiteful lot who just might eat 817 fish each to irritate regular Europeans. The Icelandic have a habit of being irritating; after the 2008 financial crisis, they borrowed money from the British government to pay off Icelandic bank account holders, only to then refuse to pay the money back. Then, in 2009 they sent an enormous cloud of Icelandic ash over continental Europe causing flight chaos for several weeks. And now, the fish!

China Revels in Xiaobo Nobel Win

Tuesday, December 7th, 2010

The Chinese government has declared 3 days of bank holiday and celebration on account of Liu Xiaobo winning the Nobel Peace Prize. Several other countries who are equally in favour of human rights were lobbied by China to open a few cases of Champagne to commemorate the brilliant event. They include Afghanistan, Colombia, Cuba, Egypt, Iran, Iraq, Kazakhstan, Morocco, Pakistan, the Philippines, Russia, Saudi Arabia, Serbia, Sudan, Tunisia, Venezuela, Vietnam and Ukraine
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Japan Lobbying for Tuna Extinction Pays Off

Friday, March 26th, 2010

Japan’s long-held dream of killing every Bluefin tuna in the world came a big step closer to reality yesterday. CITES, the Convention on Trade in International Endangered Species, was voting on a proposal by Monaco to ban international trade in the vanishing fish. Japan lobbied hard to prevent the ban – many accusing the Japanese of scare tactics.
The Japanese are awfully fond of Tuna. As they count their way down to the last fish on the menu, their appetite for bluefin for sushi and sashimi appears to be increasing. Japan consumes more than 80% of the tuna in the world. Not content with an ocean as limiting as the Pacific, they send their fleet of factory fish to siphon all the Bluefin from the Atlantic and the Mediterranean. In fact, the CITES resolution that Japan successfully killed was limited solely to fish in those oceans.

At the same meeting the Japanese also won the right to kill all Porbeagle sharks and the right to destroy coral reefs.

A Japanese spokesman defended aggressive Japanese scare tactics, saying, “While, we realize that this move is in the long term like shooting ourselves in the foot, Bluefin tuna is really very, very yummy and we just can’t help ourselves. After we’ve eaten them all, there may be a few whales or dolphins left to eat. There again, there may not.”

China Kills Peace Bunny

Tuesday, December 29th, 2009


An unprecedented atrocity, even by Chinese standards. China today executed Akmal Shaikh, a mentally-ill British peace activist. Mr. Shaikh had recorded a song about rabbits in the belief that the song could bring about world peace if broadcast widely. While in Poland, drug smugglers convinced him that his song would be a huge hit in China. He travelled to China as an unwitting drug mule. His bags were found to contain 4kg of heroine. Despite 27 delegations from the British Government, including prime minister, Gordon Brown, China executed Mr. Shaikh; the first European to be executed in China in decades.

Junior Senator from Aetna Kills Healthcare

Wednesday, December 16th, 2009

liebermanJoe Lieberman may well go down in American history as “the man who killed healthcare.” Lieberman has taken millions of dollars from “healthcare” companies who are using him to kill healthcare reform. First, he announced that he couldn’t support effective competition by killing the public option. Now, in a hypocritical move of Israeli proportions, he has outlined his opposition to any expansion of Medicare, a proposal that he, himself, made several months ago.

“Say cheese…” – “Allright mate, you’re nicked!”

Friday, December 11th, 2009

british_policeIf you are visiting the United Kingdom, be careful when you take those holiday snapshots. British coppers have apparently turned into complete nazis in their attempts to repel hoards of non-existent photo-snapping terrorists. The Guardian set out to discover how little the police know about the very laws they are supposed to be enforcing.

World’s Biggest Crook

Wednesday, October 7th, 2009

Berlusconi
Billionaire, Silvio Berlusconi, has declared that he is the most persecuted man “…in the entire history of the world.” Mr. Berlusconi has avoided justice on many occasions. His most successful strategy has been to use his vast wealth to buy elections and then give himself immunity from prosecution. The cause of his outburst was the decision my Italy’s top judges that this self-serving move by the diminutive prime minister was unconstitutional. In a telling freudian slip, Mr. Berlusconi declared that he has spent millions of euros on “judges”. He later corrected this to “lawyers”.

Fox in Charge of Chechen Chickenhouse

Saturday, July 18th, 2009

kadyrov-putinPresident Kadyrov of Chechnya has said he will personally take control of the search for Natalia Estemirova’s killers. The human rights activist, Natalia, was dragged from her house in Grozny and assassinated. She was cataloging thousands of extrajudicial abductions, torture, and killings by Russian troops in Chechnya. Mr. Kadyrov is the Putin-appointed strong man in Grozny that many observers believe responsible for most of the killing including that of Natalia. Whether he will find himself in the search for her killers remains to be seen. Mr. Putin appears to believe in a policy of peace through murder in his dealings with Muslim freedom fighters.

In other news, Rudolph Hess has been put in charge of the Nuremburg trials and Benjamin Netanyahu will be seeking justice for Palestinian victims of Israeli atrocities.

Sri Lanka Declares Victory

Saturday, May 16th, 2009

tamil-tigers

Our reporters have learned that Sri Lanka is attempting to create a whole new generation of terrorists by shelling civilians sheltering in the the UN “safe area”.
A Sri Lankan government spokesman told UN242,

“As everyone knows we are passionate about cricket and have a strong sense of fair play. So when we discovered that the Tamil Tigers position was weakening and they were having difficulty recruiting new members, we decided to help. We have been aggressively shelling UN safe areas in an atttempt to spur a terrorist recruiting drive for decades to come. We hope the international community respects and appreciates our attempts to create a level playing field in our struggele with the Tigers.

Some may see this as cold’blooded murder or even genocide, but really its no more than a Tamil Tiger recruiting drive. We don’t ever want this conflict to end. We’re doing our best to inspire generations of militants and suicide bombers. It’s good for our military. It’s good for our arms suppliers, and it ensures the survival of our government.”

The Sri Lankan Government have apparently killed up to 2000 civilians during a sustained shelling campaign of safe areas that some witnesses have described “very, very, naughty.” If you hate terrorism and would like to support ethnic cleansing as a means to eradicate terrorism, why not go for nice holiday in Sri Lanka? The beaches have a beautiful red sheen, having been bathed by the fresh blood of a generation of Tamils. Nice coconuts too!

Robert Mugabe – “…part of the solution”

Monday, May 11th, 2009

robert-mugabe

Morgan Tsvangirai, in response to a question during a public forum in South Africa has declared that Robert Mugabe is “…part of the solution.” Other officials that are also part of the solution were named as Heinrich Himmler, Joseph Stalin, and Benjamin Netanyahu.

The response came when an audience member, applauded by the crowd, stated that Mugabe, “…has almost single-handedly destroyed the country, lost two elections and yet is still there … Why do you have to sleep with the enemy? Is not the simple solution that Mugabe goes?”

Tsvangirai responded, “Don’t be too paranoid about your obsession with Robert Mugabe because he isn’t going to go away; he is there. Robert Mugabe was part of the problem but he is also part of the solution, whether you like it or not.”